looking to hire a chivalrous young knight to assist with noble duties. responsibilities include loyalty till death and reaping what i have sowed. poor critical thinking essential.
with my soup pot helmet and exceptionally pointy stick i found on the ground i will accompany you to the end of the earth, my lady.
*clutterclutterclutterCLANG*
darn i really wish this thing had eye holes
perfect. hired. now die for me
hi yes I'd like to order a fucking break for the next million years please. thankyou.
everything we make will be smart. we will make a smart fridge. we will make a smart tv. your dishwasher will be incredibly intelligent. it will collect your data. by this i mean monitor your every move. if you knew how much we could glean about you as a person based on internet activity alone you would throw your wifi router into the sea. everything we make is very smart. do you want a dumb tv? do you want a tv that's just a tv? do you want a tv that doesn't need wifi? die. i want to make turning your tv into a paid subscription a reality but we haven't boiled the pot long enough and i don't want to alert the frog. hey. remove that add-on on your browser. why are you blocking the ads? do you have any idea how much effort has gone into tracking your every move, your every thought verbalized by a web search, and tailoring it into an ad that you will hopefully click on? do you not care? you're being really rude. you're being abusive. turn off the ad-block. i'm going to kill you. ok fine i can't kill you. you can't watch youtube anymore. we have way more engineers. i can outsource labour all day every day and pit coders who need a livelihood - this is a nice verbal subterfuge that takes some of the bite away from survival, needing to pay rent, needing to eat - against a few people trying to escape the final culmination, that annoying ad that used to be five seconds, now will be ten seconds, i would make it last two hours if i could, trying to escape the killing blow of all my very hard work of collecting your data. you need the internet. you need email. society cant function without it. it's vital to our lives. it's a basic necessity like food. we have always had internet. we will always have internet. internet is your friend. internet is fun. why would you spend two hours at the park, or reading a good book, when you are so tired from work? wouldn't you rather unwind with some internet? wouldn't you rather endlessly scroll for two hours on the internet? you might see something interesting. don't you feel better afterwards? don't you want an algorithm to filter you into increasingly insular communities until you can't relate to others outside this curated world view? don't you want to see the world news? don't you want to fight? sorry - i mean, increase engagement? don't you want to scroll through all the world's horrors until the frenetic motionlessness exhausts you to the point you have the same empathetic fatigue as EMTs and disaster relief workers and have nothing left to give without even leaving your home? don't you want a smart tv?
With Winnie-the-Pooh and The Battle of Hastings sharing an anniversary today, did you know that E. H. Shepard once drew this amazing scene for an exclusive book bag?
I love that none of them have weapons. Except Kanga, who has a fucking morningstar.
that is roo
i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word
one time I played the word “am” and I thought, they can totally let that slide because of AM radio and A.M time.
then i remembered
Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.
I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.
My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”
